Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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