I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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