and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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