I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
