Betty ford says i'm here all night
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
