Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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