Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
