We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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