dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
