Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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