Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
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I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
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He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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