I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
