my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
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i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
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But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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