Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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