fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it hurts more in the daytime
Do vagina's smell?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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