All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
