It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
