Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
