Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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