I accidentally had phone sex last night
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
