Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
