i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
