i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
