I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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