I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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