Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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