How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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