Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
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I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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