i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
