I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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