nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Its about making memories worth repressing
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
