why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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