all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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