I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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