he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
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I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
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One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's shark week go big or go home
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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