what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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