i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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