dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize