I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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