An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
