wat bout pragnant strippers??
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
