When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize