im having a threesome with these popsicles
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
