Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
