Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
