Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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