You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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