its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
