Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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