If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Also, beer. Big fan.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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