Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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