Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
