you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This is my gift to your gina
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
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