When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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