Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I know her cup size but not her name....
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
