I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I have fence marks all over my body
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
