Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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