Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
operation have a gay friend backfired
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize