Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
