marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
