i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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